Today was pretty good. Me and my friend went for a massage, and then we went out to eat a buffet...

The massage was good and relaxing. We head out to the buffet restaurant but we were too early. We went to Walmart and I buy some food for my daily consumption lol. We both catch up together with the latest life updates. It was really nice bonding with my sister/friend. We laughed all day and we talked about our life and plans in the future. I felt that our bonding time was so brief. It was cut short when we ate so much at the buffet, I almost exploded..hahha a funny scene indeed.. I really miss hanging out with my friends..

I really want to catch up with their lives, but everyone seems so busy with their own life.

Maybe one time, I will find the courage to do so. I miss them terribly.. let alone I am missing more my family. Hoping for them to come back soon.

I have more days to make myself productive and relax for a bit until I set my foot to work.

I love having long breaks, but not really good when you are sick as well. Anyhow, Im still glad for the long break.. Hopefully, things will get better soon.

I dreamt about someone who was dear to be that had passed. In my dream,  I never thought or sank in my head that he already passed. In my dream he was still alive. I showed him my ring and he was happy about it. I can never forget his smile when he tried to reach out my hand and examined my ring. I felt such warmth and happiness. I really miss him alot. I know he is in a good place now. 

Anyway, I love this day and I am really happy.

-Crave 

We supposedly schedule it for tomorrow, but we had the time now.

We both watch the Circus that he had watched before. He technically, had some clips of it and he offered me to watch it with him. He was so nice to ask me. I remember I fondly ask him if he had watched with somebody, but he replied that " I was alone watching it. I don't find any person that would actually like to watch it with me. I was very pleased with the offer, and maybe its a help for me to distract myself from my chaotic thoughts. 

Anyhow, we both enjoyed watching. I was really amazed by the Circus performers and I would really love to watch them perform in person. I was inspired to see a Cirque du Soleil performance as well. I hope they will perform in my place. I would definitely watch it. I am very thankful to have a friend like him ( Mind you I already asked my husband if it was okay to watch the circus play with my friend, and he was okay with it). He is one of my most trusted friend and one of the person that I can cry on too. I am grateful for the friendship that we have. I really love my friends so much and I really miss hanging out with them terribly. If I only have the money. I would visit each one of them in a heartbeat.

This day was not too bad. Thank you God for letting me feel loved and blessed through my friends. You made me feel that I am not alone and I have my friends who loves me so much.

I am also excited to see my friend N tomorrow.. We are going to have a massage day and eat out tomorrow.

See you tomorrow..

Forever thankful,

MissSea

 This is just a rant blog. I express my fears, angers, and deep-seated emotions through writing.

This is coming for my own point of view. Sometimes, I feel powerful, but most of the time I feel like just a tiny atom of this whole universe--for short. I feel so small and insignificant. I realize that I become more stronger and efficient person when I am alone, but this solitude kills me inside. I miss my family so much and also my husband. It makes me happy whenever I am with them.

Alone with my thoughts and having a long break from gives me a time to reflect upon myself:

I realize that I am self-sufficient

I can be emotional at sometimes thinking the people that I miss

I can think clearly about my goals and my strengths.

I am very creative and highly motivated to do something.

I can relax and be at my own pace

I dont feel alot of stress and I dont worry alot.

I can make things happen if only I wanted too.

I really need this long break... I think everyone needs a long break.

To pause, breathe and re-organize the way we think.

I honestly filled with useless worries and anxiety...

What I do is write down what is bothering with my head and try to have solution for it.

when i see those problems written down I feel like I can overcome them one by one.

Anyway, 

I shall write again..

MissSea